![]() Anything purposefully dangerous, hurtful or destructive should be immediately reported to an adult. We teach kids that there are major differences between tattling and telling. If they have, you as the adult can step in to model conflict resolution and problem-solving strategies. If you are teaching children the TALK-WALK-ASK™ method, you should ask if they have done the first two steps when they come to you to report. WALK: If that doesn’t resolve it, it’s time to go find something else to do or someone else to play with.ĪSK: And if Billy continues to follow and call names, it’s time to ask for help. For example, “Billy, stop calling me names.” ![]() TALK: Use a stick-up-for-yourself sentence. We teach these children the three steps to solving a problem: There are also situations where children tattle because they have not yet built the skills to solve a problem on their own. I’ll go erase it and I won’t do it again.” Tattler down. What should happen now?” Tommy replied, “I’m sorry Miss Donna. And I know you know the rule and that it isn’t okay to do that. ![]() However, I then had to say to Tommy, “Now I know what is going on in there. Is anyone getting hurt or anything dangerous happening?” She said, “no.” I then replied, “then I didn’t really need to be informed.” The look of relief on Tommy’s face was precious, and Sally just looked at me in a confused way and went back to playing with the other kids. I looked at Sally and said, “That’s tattling. I was working with a small group of kids when a little girl, we’ll call her Sally, ran over to me and said, “Miss Donna! Tommy is writing naughty words on the whiteboard.” Of course, Tommy is right behind Sally, with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, knowing he was going to get it. I’m sure that you would not like _ to tattle on you.” A real-life instance of social coaching a tattling incident occurred a few years ago at my Center. You could say something such as, “That is tattling and it is unkind. In this instance, try using the strategy of saying, “thanks for the information, I’ll take it from here.” This should provide closure for the child and then you as the adult can decide whether or not there is something to further explore or address.įor children that are deliberately trying to get another child in trouble and reporting something to you, that may or may not be true and is minor, we suggest calling it out. There are some anxious children, that no matter how much you re-direct the tattling, it is a NEED of theirs to report. If a child tattles due to anxiety about what other people should or should not be doing, a strategy is to remind that child that the problem doesn’t belong to them, and if they are following the rules or directions and doing what they are supposed to be doing, they can ignore other people’s choices. How you handle episodes of tattling depends on the reason that the child is reporting minor incidences.
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